I received a text from a student of mine which stated, "Your last 3 blogs were lame! I already know that stuff." (Oh, you little college freshman girl). She was half-kidding, but that means she was also half-serious. Because she's heard my rants so often about figuring out what she wants, visualizing, and taking action, she thinks she's got it! I know, I know... 18 year old girls know it all -- then they turn into 40 year old women who know it all!
She instinctively thought that because she's heard me talk so much on those subjects, she didn't need to hear, read, or practice much anymore. WRONG, LITTLE GIRLIE!
*If we want to gain muscle mass... we must lift weights and eat correctly ~ all the time!
*If we want to lose weight... we must exercise and eat correctly ~ all the time!
*If we want to get better grades... we must study more efficiently (or in some cases, study- period!) ~ all the time!
If we want to create new, better ways of thinking and acting... we must practice ~ all the time!
I remember walking into a martial arts class when I was younger, super excited, yet scared out of my mind at the same time. I hated anything new and out of my comfort zone. What finally got me in the door was the fact that I knew (or so I thought) that I'd be working with all beginners, so we'd all be in the same boat. See, back then, I'd never do anything that I knew I wasn't going to be great at... so for me to take a class in which "failure" could be a possibility was a huge leap of faith.
The first thing I remember seeing when I walked into the studio were 7 guys flipping each other, practicing wrist locks, and working on what looked like to be some very advanced moves. I asked the instructor if I was in the wrong class. He said I was in the right place... actually, I'll never forget what he told me, because it made me forever alter the way I thought and how I was teaching.
"All black belts work with beginners because they were once beginners, and will always be beginners... they just have a different color belt than you," he said. "They will give back to the new students, as well as learn from them. You're in the right class, my son!"
Son? Dad?? My dad's not Japanese! Did you give me away at birth? Sorry, back to my point:
I hadn't been there for more than 5 minutes, yet he completely changed my way of thinking, doing, and the way I'd teach for the rest of my life. We never stop learning, improving, and growing... EVER! There isn't a finish line, no matter how many classes we've taken, no matter how well we've eaten or how often we've exercised. We're never done, we never truly get it, and there's definitely no such thing as a master. We may think sometimes, that we've "mastered" something, but that's just an illusion. The instructor in that class was something ridiculous like a 10th degree black belt, but said that he's still, and always will be a beginner.
So... to my young student who "doesn't need those lessons anymore," and has mastered her techniques: I envy you. I'm jealous that you've found a way to be done. Actually, in our next session, you'll be showing me how you did it!
The quest for the most powerful state of mind never ends. Each day is a new challenge because no one can ever reach ultimate perfection and thus we continue on towards our dreams. Talk to me about perfect though.. What exactly is perfect? Is it "being complete of its kind without defect or blemish" or is being content, finally happy even with what you have. We say that perfect doesn't exist and that we can always be striving for more. While yes, I fully agree with that statement- that we SHOULD always be striving for more- I also think that some moments are perfect in their entirety simply because we could want nothing more from a specific situation. So I guess you could say I believe in the fairy tale ending all girls dream of. Some moments, the ones that take your breath away, the moments you cry of happiness, being with the ones that love you, and seeing that love in action. Those moments, they can lead to a perfect life. Perfection is not about what you don't have. It's about what you do have.
ReplyDeleteWe are all beginners as you said, but in some way, we are all masters too.
dayne,
ReplyDeleteman i always git a kick outta younguns. when you feel you have made it and your at the top, you know it all,then what? die?
hell, there isn't a perfect diamond, a perfect marriage, or a perfect sale, i could go on and on, but you said it best, when you said your way of thinking was changed after a 5 min. observation. my god your are one smart son of a teacher.
coach your mind or coach your life
no matter you got a lot of us to coach
Dayne, another exceptional post. Never stop learning, never stop trying to learn more of what you already know, and NEVER stop practicing what you have already learned.
ReplyDeleteIt is great when life throws us out of our comfort zone isn't it? Whether in the form of a Martial Arts teacher or a stranger on the street, life has a funny way of shaking us up, startling our thought process, and slapping us in the face. And I'm not talking about a little girly slap either; I'm talking full-on, back-handed, bitch-slap, old school style (can I say bitch-slap on here?)
The question then, is do we cower away from it or embrace it (even if there is a little pain involved, even if there is A LOT of pain involved)...
Me? I am a bit of a masochist, I suppose, because I am quite the embracer of life's hard left hooks and upper cuts. And I believe the bruises and scars have only made me stronger.
ERICA ~ You're always trying to reach that 'next level,' aren't you. You don't sound like you're commenting on what I wrote, you seem like you're writing your own post. Hmmm... maybe we've got something there. I loved your interpretation of PERFECT. My answer to you: It is what you say it is. Your perfect (especially as a young woman) is much different than mine. One small difference... I won't ever say I've reached perfection ~ ever. I'll say I'm getting close, etc., but I'm always a beginner, SEARCHING for the perfect (X). Gr8 reply, as always!
ReplyDeleteBOB ~ Thanks so much for always taking the time to comment. You said it, and seem to fully know it... there just isn't that perfect anything, although your stories are pretty damn close!!! I'm loving your site! Thanks again for such great reviews.
MIDNIGHT ~ Thank you for your kind words. Yes, you can say bitch-slap, lol!! I loved that you put a little bit of your style here on my page! I have a feeling that when you take life's "left hooks," you punch back much harder, knowing that those scars will make you who you will be, as they've made you who you are today! Thanks for you comment. Can't wait to pop over and read another one of your 'incredibles!'
i know, i started off on a good thought in my head and i got distracted by that stupid word ha.
ReplyDeleteand of course, always always always be reaching for that next rung on the ladder.
I've been a complete idiot a few times now, having see my share of 18 year olds come & go through my family. I remember when & was considered ingenious by the same kids! Then all of a sudden, they felt as though their knowledge of life, through their vast experiences they encountered while being on this earth for so long, had far surpassed mine. Now, them being a bit older, are getting dumber. Just like ol'Dad!
ReplyDeletecoach dayne, I have really had a downer day today, so I came here to reread, and reread what you left on my blog, just wanted to say thanks.
ReplyDeletedayne I love your blog! Where do you get all of your pictures. I want to put pictures on my sight.? thansk, tammy
ReplyDelete