Who I Was...

"Why is Dayne teaching anybody about the mental game. Does he remember how he used to be?!"

-Friend from the past

Who I was is not who I am.

I used to be hot-headed, throwing and breaking numerous tennis racquets whenever I got angry. I was thrown out of a high school tennis tournament for verbally abusing the referee. I got in a fist fight with every player on my basketball team during my senior year. I jumped over the net, attempted to punch my opponent after he cheated me, but before I could reach him, my doubles partner grabbed my collar and pulled me to the ground. Wanting to get kicked out of a match because I was losing, I purposely elbowed my opponent as we changed sides of the court. 

Who I was is not who I am.

After missing an easy jump shot during a prestigious high school basketball All Star game, I told the coach not to put me back in. Here I was in front of college scouts, and I couldn't make a 15 foot shot? "Why even play this stupid game? I'll never make it at the college level," I told myself. I remember that moment as if it was yesterday. I could've played college basketball for most Division I teams, but allowed that moment to sway my belief system... choosing the "easy" tennis route, where I knew I would succeed.

Who I was is not who I am.

A very close friend said she didn't want a priest to marry her and her fiance... instead she wanted me to do the wedding ceremony. After immediately saying no, I took two weeks to rethink that decision. "Marry them? Me? Are they freakin' crazy, wanting me to speak in front of 150 people on the biggest day of their life... a day in which I could potentially ruin?" The fear I had of completely destroying the most important day of their lives is exactly the reason I decided to say yes! Fear wouldn't run my life any longer. I stood in front of the gorgeous couple, their family and friends, and took the biggest risk of my life!

Who I was is not who I am.

After shooting my worst score during my first golf tournament, I immediately entered another one, shot my all time best score, and won the tournament. After losing in the finals of a tennis tournament I previously won 4 times , and was supposed to win again, I called my opponent and congratulated him for playing so well. I had aspirations of wanting more, needing more, and deserving more, but didn't know how to accomplish those goals. I took a chance, quit my job, chased that dream, and made it a reality.

Who I was is not who I am.

My wife wanted to start a family, but I didn't think I was ready to be a daddy. How was I going to teach a little baby anything? I didn't know how to be a father... my baby would definitely see all my flaws, know I was faking it, and wouldn't ever trust me. How was I going to earn enough money to support my family in the city we live? How was I going to stop being so selfish? How would I get over my fear of failure, self doubt, and insecurities? Then Logan was born...

Who I was made me who I am!!