I'm in the midst of a huge battle within, and need your help.
My main enemy is Mr. Illusion. He keeps urging me... no, pleading with me... to hold on tight, to squeeze and not let go.
"If you allow yourself to let go of the tight grip you have on your life, you'll lose everything you've built," he shouts! "Don't let go. Squeeze those fists together. Don't let go."
This instinctively goes against what my brain, eyes and heart are telling me. I want more. I need more for happiness to continue growing, but this Illusion character is strong. He whispers fear in my ear daily... so much, that I find myself doubting why I want more.
("More" doesn't have to be anything physical or monetary. It simply means better).
I know that in order to give and receive, I must first open my fists. My palms must be clearly visible for all to see. The tension in my grip has to disappear, but more importantly, the tension that's vibrating through my family, due to this Illusion dude, must be released. I can't continue living in a state-of-squeeze, dammit!
When I think of allowing this strong grip over my life to fade away, I naturally feel the fear of all the "what-ifs" drawing near. I've grown accustom to holding on tight ~ it feels good to be in control. Mr. Illusion laughs! He knows there's no real control when I squeeze. Sure, I don't allow anything to leave, but I also don't let anything new to enter. That's not being in control... that's being controlled!
Hey, Illusion! It's you and me from now on. You won't win. You can't win. I see right through you... you don't exist!