Thursday, October 21, 2010

Your Stories Keep Coming... "Can't Vs. Won't"

Thank you to all of those who've sent me Your Stories. To say I'm impressed with what I've read would be a total understatement. It's been truly inspirational to read about the struggles, battles, fighting disease, and how you've found a way to climb back. The strength you've shown, and continue showing, needs to be read by others.

Again, I don't have an 'end date' for this feature, so to those who want to add their stories, email me at No matter how long it takes, I'll be posting every one I receive. 

Our next story comes from Loretta. Her journey has taken her through many ups and downs, but she continues to take massive action, one foot at a time. Keep steppin, Loretta!

She writes:

Can't VS Won't

We live in such a "soundbite" age. We want instant answers. Fast and easy solutions. The "magic pill", or the "guaranteed formula for success".

While I don't believe such a critter exists, I DO believe there are fundamentals that apply to all of us. No matter what kind of goal we are aiming for, I believe the battle is won or lost between the ears.

Just recently I was trying to come up with a nutshell version of what has helped me the most, in order to encourage someone who was struggling. 

Bottomline, it had to do with the Mental part of my journey... and here is what I told her:

It was a POWERFUL help to me the day I chose to NEVER ever again say "I can't".

Instead, I admitted that the truth was usually: "I won't".

That was hard to swallow, but it gave me back my POWER TO CHOOSE.

I believe that is the system God designed, where we have this marvelous thing called Choice. Once we realize it's not a matter of "can't", but rather a matter of "won't", we are empowered again. We are NOT victims of the old "I can't" mentality. 

I, and I alone, am responsible for my choices and the consequences they bring. And that is GOOD news. 

Because if I made some less than stellar choices in the past, then I can NOW made better ones. I have the power to improve my life. I am not a leaf floating on the wind. I am flying under my own power, with the ability to steer.

Do I control all around me?? Absolutely not.
Do I control my RESPONSE to all around me?? Absolutely YES!!

Adopting this philosophy was life-changing for me. I refuse to sit around and whine  "oh poor me". We ALL have stuff in our life we wish was different. I'm not talking about things beyond my control.

But for those things that ARE within my ability to choose, I want to make good choices, knowing that TODAY I am sowing the seeds of my TOMORROW.

This isn't a bunch of fancy schmancy psycho-babble. It's real and practical... where-the-rubber-meets-the-road kind of stuff.

The journey I started out on was one to regain my health. I have lost about 135 pounds now, and am slightly over half way to my goal. It's downhill from here, baby!

But along the way, I discovered it is not about numbers. It is about living my authentic life.

It is about living. About going after our dreams. About living NOW, even while I am still on this journey.

Am I perfect at all this?? Can you hear me laughing at that thought??!! No, I am still learning.

But let me just say this: I am so thankful to have learned about the Power of Choice. I will never again be a "victim". I can choose my attitude!



Bendigo said... sum it up right there...You are so right! Thanks for the reminder and the powerful message...

Rettakat said...

Thank you Dayne, for using my story. I must admit it cracked me up that you posted it today, on the same day *I* posted a challenge update, whining about my hard week! Too funny!

But I needed to read and act on my own words, so I appreciate the "mirror".

I'm really enjoying this series of stories, and look forward to the next victim... err, I mean storyteller. ;-)

I appreciate your blog, as always.

Dayne Gingrich said...

I hope it's not viewed as torture or "victim."

You're only going to help others to either keep stepping or begin stepping.

To read about all the brutal walls that have be smashed is amazing to me... and will be to many more.

I wish I could show you my inbox, and the stories I've received. I will, soon enough though.


Annie, The Amazing Shrinking Girl said...

Loving these stories! Awesome idea to feature them! :)

Dayne Gingrich said...

Thanks, Annie. Can't wait to read yours!!!

.... I'm waiting.... ;-)