Sunday, April 17, 2011

True Confidence

"I can't set that goal until I know I'm good enough to achieve it."

This is what most people tell themselves. Unfortunately, this thought process is backwards. Without the lofty goal, we'll rarely become good enough. It's simply another example of waiting for evidence before one chooses to believe. Key word: CHOOSE!

We all have the ability to choose whether or not we believe in ourselves. Self belief is a decision we make, yet most only decide to make that decision after positive results. The best-of-the-best, no matter the field, don't wait for evidence before they make this conscious decision to have unyielding self belief and confidence. They know with every ounce of who they are, success will show it's face. And furthermore, they understand the stronger and more consistent this belief, the more success they'll eventually taste.

There are three types of confidence:

1) Fake Confidence: This person struts around, acting as if he owns the place. He'll try and make you believe he thinks he's the best, period. He goes home at night, looks in the mirror, and only sees weakness.

2) Dependent Confidence: This is where most live. We only feel good about ourselves when things are going well. The moment they make a downward turn, all confidence is lost.

3) True Confidence: This is our ultimate goal. It's the type of confidence we should have, simply because of who we are as humans. This confidence comes from deep inside... almost as if it were instinctive. True confidence can't be shaken or lost, and doesn't live for results. It understands results will simply be, and are completely separate from self belief. Of course, good results can build and enhance this confidence, but it doesn't rely on it's existence.

"I came in last today, but I still totally believe in myself!"

"I've never experienced this type of losing streak before. I'll keep working and putting in the hours. I still totally believe. Nothing will stop me!"

"Everyone thinks I should quit. No one believes I'll make it. I will absolutely succeed... no matter what it takes!

-True Confidence

How many of us can say we have this type of self confidence? If yes, then how much "losing" will it take before we stop believing in ourselves? If we have an answer for the last question, we need to work harder to achieve True Confidence. 

We choose to believe or not... no one can take it away. What an incredibly powerful weapon!


Rettakat said...

If I'm being honest with myself (and what use is there of NOT being) then I'd have to say I flip flop between 2 and 3. So, I guess I average out at 2 1/2!

I suspect the culprit, the anchor that drags me back down to 2 is allowing the doubts and fears of others to influence me. I find, when I read their "logic", that I I think I must be arrogant or something to think that it wouldn't affect me, or what they are talking about can't apply to me simply because I "choose" not to let it.

Yet... they are choosing to let the fears and doubts have power OVER them. And you are saying no, WE have the power to believe or not. To say NO, the fears and doubts don't rule over me, my freedom to CHOOSE takes precedence, is the ultimate decider.

Once again, you've made me stop and think. Thanks, Coach Dayne!


Dayne Gingrich said...

Understanding and TRUSTING that we choose to believe or not is extremely powerful! Takes conscious decision to remind ourselves about THAT choice.

Cheers to working towards True Confidence, Loretta.