Monday, September 27, 2010

They're Always Right... Listen!

I may have had an epiphany of some kind. As I traveled back from a road trip, I caught my mind wondering about a few of my students, analyzing their paths, and asking if there's more I can do for them. Taking road trips is one of my favorite times to let my mind go, allowing it to Blue Sky possibilities. I simply let it go wherever it wants, never editing it's ideas.

After about 3 hours of driving, and extensive analyzing of one student's game specifically, I realized I wasn't following my gut during her lessons. I was unconsciously holding back, in fear of rejection. I've learned a few unconventional techniques to help certain type of students, but have become hesitant to introduce them due to the depth we'll need to dive. I was lucky enough to have a mentor who taught me these techniques, but also warned me that many people won't understand their strengths and power. Because of this, I must be absolutely sure the student can handle their true meaning.

As I fought with myself about introducing these concepts, I felt a calm from within... as if I KNEW I should. All of a sudden, it became crystal clear that she needed to hear what I had to say. She was longing to create a new perspective and thinking that could only come from me at this specific moment. The timing was perfect, her frustrations were at an all time high, and I had the answer.

For the last three months, my gut was telling me she could handle it... give her a chance. My fears were punching back, though, not allowing my instincts to take over. Somewhere along the 101 freeway, clarity struck like never before. This is the answer to her nightmare. This is what will set her free from the handcuffs she locked on her own wrists.

This weekend, I let her in on my little secret. O.k., it wasn't really a secret, but many have never looked at themselves in this much detail, so it always feels like a secret when it's revealed. After a couple minutes of not taking a breathe, I inhaled... she laughed... I continued with as much passion as I've ever felt.

The point of this post wasn't to explain the answer to her challenges, but more about listening to your instincts when they're screaming at you. For me, it took a 4 hour road trip to clear my mind enough to hear and trust my gut reactions to her frustrations. If I would have been less afraid, and made my priority her freedom, maybe she wouldn't have felt so much pain.

Epiphany? Who knows.

Success? Definitely!


Rettakat said...

How cool... your train of thought resulted in an epiphany for you and a blessing for your student.

And for me, too. It got me thinking... and I re-read my little note stuck on my computer:

How can I grow?
How can I give?
What can I celebrate?

And I was thinking about what you said, and being open to new ideas. And how I always wrestled with the first one, "How can I grow?"

It was sort of fuzzy... and it struck me, and for ME, it became clearer to see it this way:

The first one was about what I took IN (like a plant grows when it takes in sun and water, causing a process that nourished it, resulting in growth).

The second one had to do with what I gave OUT... to others. AFTER I had grown, and had something to offer.

The third was a celebration! Of life, of specifics, of generals, of it all. An attitude as much as about a specific.

Thanks for sharing this today. I was holding my breath, waiting eagerly for this "secret" to be revealed... and was a little disappointed when you didn't tell.

But then... I got my own. :-)


Dayne Gingrich said...

Wow, Loretta! If more were like you, and how deep and specific you go for yourself, there sure would be less average...

Later, I may reveal what I told her, but the bigger point was listening to what's burning inside. Our instincts (or silent voice inside) is there for a reason... we just too often ignore it.

I wanted this to be the reason for the post, rather than the "secret" because listening, and acting, on the inside voice made a huge impact on her.

I'll talk about the specific technique soon.