Saturday, December 12, 2009

Ah-ha... I Get It!



I've been thinking a lot about this topic lately, and wanted to hear what you all had to say.

Such a huge part of life is about those times when the pieces just seem to fit one day ~ where you say, "Ah-ha! I get it now. That's what my mom meant... that's what my teacher was talking about." These ah-ha moments have the potential to define our future, or at the very least, help us see the potential in our future.

As I tried to define my biggest ah-ha moments, four immediately came to mind, all of which had to be mentioned.

1) Watching my girlfriend's airplane take off and fly over my head for a vacation far away from me. It was at that specific moment, I decided I was going to ask her to marry me. As she flew away, I knew I needed to be with her for the rest of my life!

2) Realizing during the first week of Logan's birth, that life was no longer only about me. It's meaning was so much deeper now. Looking in the mirror would be a completely different experience from here-on-out.

3) Understanding that creating a peaceful and quiet inner-self needed to be a top priority. I remember the light bulb turning on for the first time when I was 17 yrs. old, after switching tennis coaches. He made it o.k. to be quiet while competing, rather than a testosterone filled punk, looking for a fight around every corner. As I matured, I learned how this way of living could be translated into the real world. I battle with this "quiet self" every single day, but my goal is to simply improve one moment at a time.

4) The fourth ah-ha moment was discovered with the help of my wife (she said yes after returning from vacation ~ she couldn't possibly resist). She put me to the ultimate test, challenging me to commit to 5 things I wanted for us in the future. Sounded simple, yet 1 1/2 hours later, I still had nothing (except for the pen and blank napkin that stared at me, seemingly with a grin). This was different from the other moments, as Nothing was the true lesson... yep, old Mr. Nothing taught me that fear of failure was the real reason I sat, staring at this blank brown napkin. Nothing taught me to stop being afraid of wanting bigger and better ~ I needed to relish the challenge and risk potential failure. Nothing made it clear that failure only came when I didn't try, or quit while trying!

I'd love to hear about your "ah-ha moment(s)," and the impact they had on your life. How did it affect your friends and family, as you looked at life through different lenses?

Looking forward to reading about them.

13 comments:

plainolebob said...

Coach,
I have had so many "ah-ha" moments in my life, the list would be way too long for here.
I think my greatest "ah-ha" moments now come from reading your post and other bloggers like you, as well as just learning something new here on this computer, every time I get on it.
BIG HUGS

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

I came across your site through your comment on Ole Bob today.
You're absolutely right ! I totally agree with your aspect!
Have a nice Sunday:)

Bruce Coltin said...

For me, it's in the writing. When something comes out that I didn't expect, there's an ah-ha. No big ones; just lots of little ones. Do they count?

Sarah said...

1. after having my first baby, i told myself "so this is what love feels like."
2. after being laidoff, i found out i would be fine without the company.
3. realized it wasn't my fault, but the perpetrator's, after being hurt, and forgave myself.
4. realized i wasn't, and never going to be, perfect.
5. found out the word i saw on newspaper: "debut" and the word i heard on tv: "daybue" were the same.

that's it for now.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Hi! Thank you so much for following CAD.I do appreciate it. I am following you, too!. And I think it's going to be great to know you!!
:)

Matty said...

I've had some smaller "aha" moments in my life when a light bulb went on.

When I realized as a parent that my dad actually did know what he was talking about. When I learned much too often, not to tell anyone anything you don't want repeated (even if you've told them you are entrusting your word with them and have asked them not to tell anyone). When you can't please everyone despite your good intentions. That being a boss at work will not win you a popularity contest, even if you are a nice guy. That if a woman has a choice between a nice guy who is going to take her out for ice cream, and a bad boy who is going to take her out for a beer, she's getting drunk and you're sitting home alone. That life isn't always fair, but that attitude is everything.

Marisa Phillips said...

Hi Dayne!
I've had many of these moments in the last few years of my life... I have undergone quite the transformation, as you may know.

1. Shortly after I met your brother I realized that I was capable of having a normal and healthy relationship. I realized that it wasn't that I wasn't worthy of love, but that I had a habit of choosing the wrong men. That deep, down inside I didn't respect myself nor love myself enough to choose someone that treated me with the respect I deserve.

2. [warning--this may be a bit grim] Recently I realized that my sister and I were not "planned" children. I don't know this for sure and no one has told me but, our parents are selfish and unworthy and I spent three decades figuring this out. Aside from the fact that it hurts and I don't understand, I am determined to break the cycle and be an amazing mother. Luckily, they gave us the skills to cope and forgive. I'm destined to be better people than they are.

3. Lastly, I think I have finally accepted myself for who I am and don't loathe myself for who I'm not. My body is just a mere vessel for the woman I am inside. Don't get me wrong--I want to look like Beyonce. But I am trying to become a mother, and this body will serve a higher purpose than just looking pretty.

Phil-theincredibleshrinkingman said...

I've had a few of those Ah-ha moments over the last seven months whilst trying to lose weight,

1) Sitting alone in my bedroom with a bottle of pills and whiskey feeling less than worthless and planning to commit suicide and then stumbling across The Climb on youtube and reassessing my life.

2) Realising that there isn't just me invested in this journey but my friends and family are also an integral part of my life.

there are others but those two stand out to me over the last several months.

Great post as always coach

Phil-theincredibleshrinkingman said...

3) Composing my poem "The Storm" putting everything into perspective and how far I've come so far

Bendigo said...

Aha moments...well there are a few defining points to my life.

The biggest was when I was divorced...My family surrounded me...The didn't smother me, let me vent be a jerk whatever. I realized then what the saying Blood is thicker than water was all about.

My first childs birth was another...The sudden realization that I was responsible for someone else's well being and looking at that tiny face and seeing his total trust made me realize that this is what is important in my life.

My wife Sara gave me my aha moment when she showed me that I deserve love and affection just like anyone else and that I'm capable of giving it back.

Very cool Post... Thanks for the reflection moment :)

spldbch said...

Here's one that immediately comes to mind. For years I found myself getting involved with men who had "commitment issues" or who were "emotionally unavailable." One day I was reading a book called, "He's Scared, She's Scared." The book pointed out that if you keep getting involved with commitment-phobic people it might be a good idea to take a look at yourself. It was then that I had my "Aha" moment. "Aha! I'm the one who is afraid of commitment!" That prompted some real soul searching.

Missy said...

I have had many ah-ha moments in my life; probably too many to list.
I think the one that had the biggest effect was when I realized that I could no longer play the poor me victim and that although I had a sucky childhood, there was nothing that could be done about it except to either 1)heal from it, move forward and be happy or 2)be bitter and live the rest of my life in sadness, anger and depression.

Hovito89 said...

You chose a napkin.. (A Brown One At That!) ...as a fit place to write a list as important as that?? :) Forgive my craziness.. I had to get that out. I would love to scribble down a list that I feel outlines the biggest enlightend moments I have had in my life.. But to tell you the truth.. I simply haven't had enough. Now I would like to think that's because I am young, and haven't experienced enough yet, but who knows. :) The biggest thing I can say, is that when I was 18 and graduated from high school.. being asked everyday by everyone.. "what's next?".. and afraid to answer honestly.. that it was then I decided to write.. Roughly 3yrs later, I can say that it was the biggest decision I have made..