Saturday, July 11, 2009

Serena Williams Got Back!

Danny, a client of mine was arguing that Serena would have even more success if she lost some of her muscle, making her lighter and improving her endurance. Honestly, who cares? I'd rather look at Serena's muscles through different lenses. 

Let's analyze the positives and negatives of Serena's big booty, and the strength of her arms and legs, as they relate to the real world off the court.

Negatives:

I could never teeter-totter with her, unless I brought 7 of my friends along.

If we arm wrestled, she snap my wrist in half!

It would be impossible to shop for her. What are her measurements? 45/24/105?

How would we ever dance on a crowded dance floor? "Excuse me, pardon me, sorry... it was that big at birth!"

Can you imagine how she must feel when she arrives to a movie late, and there aren't many seats available. Picture her standing on the side of YOUR aisle, wanting to get through to the seat on the other side. If she turns sideways, she may take-out 2 entire rows!

Positives:

I'd have a built-in coffee table!

I could talk trash to someone at a bar, and then quickly run and hide behind her. 

She'd never lose at "musical chairs."

Uhh... did I mention I'd have a built-in coffee table?

Serena, you're the most mentally tough female athlete alive, and are physically perfect. Don't let idiots like Danny make you feel insecure or less-than in any way!









2 comments:

Erica Cano said...

the trash bag outfit never needed to be seen again.. i was almost able to sleep at night. that thing looks like a weggie extreme waiting to happen

Dayne Gingrich said...

Cmon, Erica... I know you own one, and are just waiting to pull it out of your closet on the first day of practice! I OWN ONE!!!