Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What Role Will You Play?

Coach Your Mind is all about creating a new, stronger mindset... whatever that means for you in your world. The first question I ask my new students is, "what do you want?" What do you want could mean whatever they say it means, but is basically asking about their current mindset. They asked to meet and discuss a specific change(s) because the way they're thinking, acting, and believing isn't getting them what they want.

Generally, their answer consists of more, bigger and better. Sounds good -- not easy to attain. Why? Because they must first create a new way of thinking... mostly about how they perceive themselves and their own potential. After we agree that more, bigger and better will only happen after specific mindset changes occur, my next question is the fun one:

"What role do you wish to play? Employee, manager, or OWNER!!!"

My mentor asked me this question 100 times every single day, until I finally understood what he meant: Own my future, own my thoughts, feelings and beliefs! No one controls anything I say or choose to believe... unless I say they do. When I understood that I "owned" everything about myself, only then could I expect more, bigger and better from my personal and business life. 

I always "wanted" more from myself and my business, and actually could feel it was right there in front of my face... but something was missing. Wanting just wasn't enough~ I had to, with complete certainty, know and believe I deserved to be that owner. Sounds simple, but is actually one of the most difficult things I've ever done, because it meant that I had to shed all of the bad habits from my past. The negative thinking was, by far, the most powerful challenge I had to beat. My first thought was always about why I couldn't do (X), or why (X) would eventually fail, rather than why it would work, and how I was going to accomplish what I wanted.

We all naturally focus on what we're afraid of, instead of what we want to happen. Here's an interesting challenge from me to you: For one day, consciously become aware of how many times you say (outloud or to yourself) what you don't want, what you can't do, and the excuses you make for not attempting that change in your life... you'll blow yourself away at how many times you say or think those words. 

Instead of focusing on all the things that you believe are holding you back, concentrate on everything you do want... and why it will happen!

What role do wish to play in your life? Employee, manager, or OWNER?


Meaghan said...

This is such a good one dayne! I really need to focus on doing this. I always try and remind myself and get myself to think positively and focus on what I can do, but I don't!! I'm working on it. The fact that I have the power to control my own feelings and thoughts was such a big lesson to me! See ya tomorrow :)

Dayne Gingrich said...

It sounds so simple to do, but is soooo difficult -- mainly because focusing on what / why we can't do "it" is what our brain focuses on as a default.

Changing (actually, creating a new way) must be done consciously... and with a lot of practice.

Most people in our lives (even -- ESPECIALLY?? our parents) make a habit of telling us to "play it safe..." "have a backup plan..." "don't do..." etc. So it's natural for us to act like this as adults. We actually aren't even usually aware that we think this way, but we ALL do~ at least until we make that conscious effort to think, act, believe a different way.

I'm lovin' that you're willing to put in that work. It'll pay off huge for you in the future... just when you need it most!

Meaghan said...

Yes it so is!!! I have so much trouble changing my way of thinking to that. Ya thats what I'm working on, just sometimes i forget =/ i need a note in my dorm Lol!

Ya our parents totally do that!! I would have never realized I was thinking that way, that I could change it, and that it wasn't helpful till you told me!
Hopefully I can tackle this!

therealbobthought said...

man i just woke up to finish some work that has to be done and ready to go for 8:00am this morning, it is 1:15 am right now so i will give it a shot, will get back to my draft in a minute.
I have always felt that your life is encapsuled in all 3 of these aspects, and that it is your choice to make the appropriate decision for the action needed.
You are where you are in life because YOU chose to be there.
When you work as an employee, it is your decision to show up for work,and do the job the way you choose to that job. Your boss is not going to come to your house, wake you up, drag you out of bed, to make sure you are there. It is your choice to be, or not to be.
When you perform the duties of management it is your choice to perform those duties, you are a manager by choice. You stood out as a person that made good decisions, therefore the position was offered to you. and you chose to take it.
When you take ownership for any thing, you automatically own that decision, manage the outcome, do the work involved to carry out that decision, if you so choose.
So, after feeling this way, knowing it is my choice, and comes down to what I decide to with these choices.
Dayne, I guess maybe i am a little slow at times, but that is my take, I have a problem personally, once owning my choice, to separate myself from my choice.
This make any sense at all, like I said I just woke up and am barely awake.

luvblinds_u said...

Ur right, what i posted is exactly what ur talkin about! Its cool u found me on here :)

and yup, "following" ya now :)

therealbobthought said...


Lance said...


You're right on with the message you are trying to get out to people. Life can be so much easier, so much more enjoyable, and people could be much happier if they made things easy on themselves with what you're getting at.