Saturday, September 12, 2009

(Quick addition to previous post)

A few readers have responded to my previous post, "They're Unhappy... Trying To Make Us Unhappy" with the same argument, which I needed to reply to immediately. They said ignoring the people who continue to gossip about them would make their feelings bottle-up inside, eventually leading to a blow up.

This is my point of that post: We want to reach a place where we're not "bottling-up" our feelings by ignoring them... we want to completely let go of all frustration, anger and possible retaliations from our soul. We're not holding our negative feelings inside because we don't hold any negative feelings towards those people. When we bottle-up, we hide our feelings, which will lead to a future explosion. When we choose not to engage those negative emotions, there's nothing to bottle-up.

Does it take us rising to another, mature, "zen-like" level? Absolutely... but choosing the path of least resistance will lead to a more peaceful way of life in the long run.

19 comments:

Bonnie said...

You are absolutely right! Letting go isn't easy, but it can be done. Thank you for the kind comment--it's appreciated. Blessings--Bonnie

plainolebob said...

coach dayne,
did you see my blog on team work?
just curious

sherry ♥ lee said...

It does require a "zen like" level to be able to do this. It requires effort and practice and choice...I always come back to that word. Because we always have the choice to be happy or sad, to be positive or negative. It doesn't happen overnight but it can happen and there is such a feeling of release and lightness that comes when we do reach that mature level!

An Open Heart said...

Dayne,
Thank you for stopping by "recovery from a life not lived".....
Do you have an email address?

S

Irene said...

loved the post and I so get it!! It is what I do all the time...You must to keep the sanity!!
Thank you
Irene

Charlene said...

It's the same technique for silencing our own negative voices. What you resist persists. The best advice I've ever gotten is to acknowledge the feeling (or reaction in this case) and just sort of "tip your hat" to the negativity (or negative person) as you would if passing them on the street and then let them walk on by. Ciao! The more energy you give to negative feelings and people, the more power the continue to have.

Jayne said...

Amen Dayne! Rising above the fray, letting go of people like that in your life, and moving forward in a positive direction is the best revenge. It reminds me of a snippet I received once about forgiveness...

"You don't forgive someone merely for their sake; you do it for your sake so you can be free. Your need to forgive isn't an issue between you and the offender; it's between you and God. Forgiveness is agreeing to live with consequences of another person's sin. Forgiveness is costly; we pay the price of the evil we forgive. Yet you're going to live with those consequences whether you want to or not; your only choice is whether you will do so in the bitterness of unforgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness. Forgiveness deals with your pain, not another's behavior. --Neil T. Anderson"

Thanks for visiting my Journey Through Grace. I've added your wonderful blog to my RSS feeds as well. Blessings to you.

MK said...

You are very right. Bottlimg up the feelings leads to utter confusion. Anyways, thanks for the comments you left on my post :)
Thanks

Rispa Frances said...

The thing is 'there's no such thing as bad publicity'. Feel good when people talk about you, good or bad. It means that you touch their lives in some way and they either admire you or envy you. Pat yourself on the back for being noticed, for having an influence.

Rispa Frances said...

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Winston Churchill

Calli said...

Very nice work here Dayne. I love that you are guiding others to become more positive. I agree with what you've said on so many of these posts. This is an area of our lives that we certainly can control. We make the choices to release negativity, in whatever way works for us, as long as it's safe and does not hurt others. For me, I write, I paint, I hug my kids, I make sure to stop and think what it is that I am grateful for, or I simply go out and cut the grass ;)...whatever works!

Thank you so much for your lovely comment on my blog. I will definitely be following your blog. And, what a beautiful family you have!

peace & positive vibes~
~Calli

Erica Cano said...

I'm not sure that you can always be happy about everything. obviously there will be things that upset you, and i dont believe that these emotions can simply be "silenced." its simply not how humans are wired. one hundred percent though- i agree that the power of positivity is an amazing thing that should run rampant through the world and yet doesnt. but i dont necessarily believe you can just let things go when you want to. it sounds like a beautiful concept, and i think everyone should practice letting things go. but if you let things go too fast (before you're ready in other words) then i just dont think you can fully value the learning experience and the emotions that come with it. while there is never failure unless you give up, there are things that go wrong. the trick is to not just forgive and forget.. but to cherish the wrong and learn and grow from it. the trick is to relish the challenge of life.

sherry lee said it perfect when she said we have a choice. we always have a choice on how to react visibly. but a devastating event will always be a devastating event. no matter what you chose to believe.

and as for your original post about dragging others down, i in no way believe that bad publicity is good. do unto others as you would have them do unto you. i too am a pleaser, but not because i dont know who i am and not because i cant stand up for myself like many people believe. i enjoy making people happy. i dont sacrifice how i feel for others unless its for a legitimate cause. i dont put myself at a disadvantage. i just enjoy my friend and families happiness. it makes me feel good about myself knowing that i made a difference in someone's life in a positive way.

Dayne Gingrich said...

Well, being in the radio game for a few years... bad publicity IS still publicity, and is valid. The Howard Sterns of the world are prime examples.

I know you don't quite understand the concept of "letting go unemotionally..." because you're still young (though wise for your age). It's definitely not easy for the reasons you gave... but is possible to react unemotionally to those people I wrote about.

Good reply again!

Erica Cano said...

i sorta forgot what you initially wrote about and i didnt wanna lose what i had already started typing, but yes. looking back on what you originally said about talking crap.. yes it is very possible for them. anddd i dont know. i dont love when people talk crap about me. i certainly wouldnt LOVE for them to do it publicly.. id rather have no publicity. i enjoy peoples respect and friendship haha. but i guess if you are desperate for attention, then bad publicity is still publicity and they can go ahead and knock themselves out.

and you're right. as witnessed by the hundreds of starbuck goers who witness me get all loud.. i still let me emotions control me sometimes ha. but im getting better, and thats what the journey is all about. improving and always looking for the next level. (and i know that sounds all corney and you would give me that look that says im just trying to give you what you want, but im legitimately serious ha)

spldbch said...

I'm a mental health therapist and your comment sums up what I try to instill in my patients -- bottling up your emotions has very real and very detrimental effects, both to your physical and psychological well-being. Yes, it takes "turning the mind towards acceptance" to do this, but the results are well worth it!

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