Thursday, September 3, 2009

What Time Is It? Umm... Now!

Huh?? That makes no sense. Now is the time?? But -- my watch says it's 5:59.

"We have to win tomorrow..."

"I can't believe I lost yesterday..."

"What if my new client doesn't like my

 ideas, and fires me?"

"In order to reach the playoffs, we need to win the next 5 of 7 games..."

No! No! No! Thinking, talking, and coaching like this will always turn into a disaster because it makes us focus on that single thing we will never be able to control:


We can only influence the result... never completely control it. I literally have this conversation 5 times each day with my students, and everyone else who will listen. This concept is so misunderstood by athletes, business people, students, and every other freakin human being alive, it makes me want to scream. Let me repeat myself (what's one more time in a day?): We can't control the result to anything, period! 

Influence? Yes! Control? No! 

We can improve our chances of winning by focusing on those things we have control over: Every decision we make, our preparation, and our emotional reactions to the specific situation, for example.
By allowing ourselves to concentrate on the things we can actually change, don't we improve the percentages that we'll maximize our potential? That's what we should be focusing on, anyway... playing our "best game" (whatever that means in your world) to the best of our abilities. 

The winning and losing will take care of itself... THANKS, DAD - I finally get it!!

All we have is this moment, right now. There's no past or future... only this second! The future is gone, and is never coming back. The past isn't here yet, but when it does finally arrive... it'll be the now. Think about that for a second ~ if we could improve our mindsets to the point where we understand there's only this single moment to do (X), how different would our day be?

Would we stress as much? Don't we usually stress about things that haven't happened yet, or things that we think "may" happen? We wouldn't worry about as much because, as with the stressing, we usually worry about the future. The "what-ifs" would immediately disappear, wouldn't they? They're also in the future. 

Being upset about losing, whether that means a sporting event, client, or poor grades would be gone too. When we hold on to that type of anger or disappointment, we're essentially living in the past. Sure, there are things from the past that we can learn from in order to make better decisions today, but they have no power over us, as it relates to our emotional well being. 

Fear of losing; living in the past and future; stress and worry about the what-ifs; disappointment about negative results... all gone!

What time do you have again?


Anonymous said...

I love the idea that we can only influence the result not control it. That is a hard thing to learn, especially if you like to be in control (like me). I also like the idea of doing your best each second in each decision you make to influence the result. I think I need to spend some time on the details and less time on the future. My journey needs to be about becoming the best me I can be everyday, not someday being the best. Hope that makes sense. Thanks for coming by my blog and introducing me to yours. Blessings--Bonnie

Alison said...

Hello! I like your blog too :o)
You make some very good points. I think that people aim too hard on the end result and then are disappointed when it doesn't work out 'exactly' how they wanted. The journey can be just as much fun...if you losen your 'control'!

plainolebob said...

good thing i live in the now i would be lost lookin for tomorrow, and would have tripped over yesterday, but right now i can have another beer.

dayne, i opened a new blog site, i know i am stooopid, lol
you are previewed

Phil-theincredibleshrinkingman said...

great blog, now following.

Irene said...

AGREE with you!!! love what you have to say and I am now a follower of you its all in the mind "coach your mind" love it!!

plainolebob said...

sorry dayne, glad you caught it, my comp.lost folders when cable co. did maint. edit fix

Mr.Poo said...

I like your blog and I love to follow. Thanks for following mine, blogger who follows mydirtytoilet, must be a bit weird too :)

Erica Cano said...

live in the moment and strive for the best you can be in that moment, and for all the moments to come. accept that past and dream for the future, but never live in either one.
live in the present and accept each challenge as it comes.

this wasn't necessarily a blog i could commmenttt on.. but it did help with all the stuff i was telling you bout.

Dayne Gingrich said...

This wasn't a blog you'd comment on, because:


I doubt that's what you meant, but thought I'd ask. You're a very intelligent young woman... hope you put into practice on a daily basis.

Great reply!

Erica Cano said...

lol, yes dayne. i have reach the ultimate stage in my life where i no longer need any direction from anyone. you could basically say im perfect


no, i wouldn't comment on it cause there's nothing i have to add because you're basically perfect& no one can add to your intellectual brilliance.